butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
