nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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