He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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