Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize