1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
