some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
