she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
