yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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