Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
