he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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