I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
