Whod you bang
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
