Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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