yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
