On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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