Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
