super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
