But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
