We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
