DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
