Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
