Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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