all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
