Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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