so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I need moral support for this bender
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Randomize