i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
