she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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