She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
