I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
