Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
