Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
