i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you inspire me to be a worse person
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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