Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My life is pants optional.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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