Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
