a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
