Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
