love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
