You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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