I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
