Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
