I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize