My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
