Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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