Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
