Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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