I'm really into asian looking animals
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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