So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
