Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
wanna go halves on a baby?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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