Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
