Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
As shirtless as possible
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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