I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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