suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
