she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
