remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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