are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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