Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
