so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
