he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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