Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
