great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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