I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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