I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
