i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize